9.27.2008

Tina's Mom update: day 20

If I could choose a song to sing right now, it would be "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" or "Walking on Sunshine" or some other especially chipper piece. I have two pieces of good news:

1. Today was a major breakthrough for my mother. She said, "I'm sick of this!" meaning that she finally admits to wanting to get better. She wants to change. As many of you may know, this is a HUGE step to becoming well again. Not that it's gonna be a cake walk from here on out, but I think it will be better. Plus, the pain from her fall last week has subsided substantially, so much so that she wants to try to go to church tomorrow!

2. I have an interview at the Macaroni Grill, a restaurant about 1/4 mile from my parents' condo. It's on Monday at 3pm - woo hoo! There's a lot of applicants, but I can outshine them all. Heehee. Actually, this means that I passes this kinda dumb customer service test that you now have to take. I've taken it three times already. At first, I was doubtful that I did not pass the test (these are statements like"I am polite even when I don't want to be" or "I like large groups of people" with which you have to agree or disagree) but this interview proves that I did. Yes!

So, then what does this mean? So, I kinda have it in my head (and heart) to work at a major apparel retailer, but you have to take this test. I was doubtful that I passed it there, but I passed it at the restaurant, so I must have passed the exact same test at the clothing store. We'll see what happens.

Much love to you all! My parents say hi. Oh, and if you ever, you know, want to drop me a line or anything, you can write to me at:
13341 Verona
Tustina, CA 92782

Bisous!

9.23.2008

Tina's mom update: day 17

Ok folks, my apologies for not keeping y'all updated sooner. It's been a busy week.

Mom is better, except that she fell AGAIN last Thursday morning. I swear, it's like three steps forward and two steps back. At least that means it's one step forward. Now, if only she could see that. In any case, she saw the doctor today because of hip pain. He confirmed that nothing was broken (thank God!) and that it's only a little inflamation that should settle down in a week or so. She's having nausea again, though. That makes her thrice as anxious as usual. I'm a little worried - the doc perscribed a med that will probably really cause nausea and make her hyper. Not good, not good. If you pray, pray for me and my father!

That reminds me - this doctor totally reminded me of one of my professors from last year, Telford. Telford, if you read this, I think I found your long lost brother. Except that he has a much larger nose than you.

Not much else, except that some friends from high school and I have started a tradition - I think. Nachos and beer on Friday late nites at the Block in Orange. Good times; we even get the same waiter every week! This past week we even took photo booth pics - oh what fun!

I miss you all! Bisous!

9.18.2008

Tina's Mom update: day 10

Note: I know that today is actually day 11, but I wrote this last night and could not publish it until today. Enjoy!

I was woken up by a fireman this morning. Yes, a very attractive, young, strong and probably virile male in bright yellow pants walked into my room to rouse me from my morning siesta. Is this a dream? My knight in bright shiny pants and matching suspenders? No, I knew there was a problem.

I rush downstairs to the sound of my mother’s voice yelling my name. I am greeted by approximately six more young, attractive males in the same attire gathered at the base of the stairs. I thank my Father in heaven that I wore something semi-cute but modest to bed, seeing as I had seven pairs of male eyes in my direction. I wouldn’t want them to get the wrong idea…

Actually about 15 minutes earlier, unbeknownst to me in my slumbering state, my mother had called the paramedics. Yesterday, she had outpatient back surgery and they put her under general anesthetic. One of the effects of anesthetic is nausea and vomiting, something for which my mother has little tolerance. Couple that with her anxiety and you get one long sleepless night for all three of us: my mom, dad and me. I relieved my father between the hours of 7am and 9am, and I was relieved from 10am on. Mom wasn’t sleeping, but the nausea meds kicked in and she was resting enough not to need so much attention.

During my nap, I guess her anxiety and nausea worsened because she called 911. My father was doing the best to comfort her so he sent one of the rookie firefighters to wake me. I think that’s the best thing about this situation, it like a dream come true! My knight in shiny pants has arrived! Actually, there were seven of them – yum! Although, these knights were for my mother and not for me.

In all seriousness, my readers, these last two days have been difficult. A super anxious mother, a back surgery, a sleepless and stressful night, a trip to the emergency room, a father who almost went to the emergency room himself, and worries about my lack of employment.

But, God is good. Both of my parents are working on a good night’s sleep, my mother’s nausea has weakened, as has her anxiety, the back surgery seems successful, and I get to write this in the comfort and privacy of my own room. Plus, the Macaroni Grill around the corner needs servers. If not there, the Norstrom’s down the freeway is hiring, too. Maybe I’ll try my hand at shoes or menswear.

Ta-ta for now!

Miracles

Do you believe in miracles? What kind of miracles?

I asked my mother this question and she said that they are an "act of God." But what does that mean, an "act of God?" To some, especially in my Pentecostal tradition, it means physical healings. But then, what would be the purpose of these? Healing for healing’s sake?
Here’s a cliché for you: in following Jesus, I find that it’s not really about me, it’s about doing things to put the focus back on God. Sure, if physical healings give the focus back to Jesus, that’s great. But I think that we have our own magic in medicine today, so that a physical act of God is no longer has the ability to display his power. We even have remedies to cure what used to be thought of as certain types of demon possession: mental illness.

This medicine vs. physical healing debate seems analogous to the story when Moses goes back to Egypt and God does the first miracle; he turns Moses’ staff into a snake. In reaction, the Egyptian sorcerers do the same thing. Big deal. Any god can turn a staff into a snake, they seem to be saying.

So we say with our modern medicine. Don’t get me wrong, I am not poo-pooing our doctors and hospitals. But, we no longer have the necessity for physical healings because of our reliance upon man’s invention. Yet, God still wants to work. Where is our act of God now?

Here’s another cliché: in our hearts. I once heard an analogy about today’s young generation, the millennials, that their hearts are not simply broken, but shattered. They are not broke in two, easily repairable with glue; they are broken in so many pieces and some of pieces may have been lost or misshapen. There’s no putting these hearts back together without an act of God. Even though I am not a millennial (just barely, though), I understand. So many of my friends have been hurt and confused from divorce, sexualization at a young age, and not being given a purpose other than to make their parents happy. And this list is by no means comprehensive. As a result, they search and seek. Some turn to art in angry tones of red and black. Some turn to guitar playing and weed smoking. Some turn to the refuge of their family. Some turn into an Ana or Mia. And some just try to make it through, not knowing if they have a calling at all.

They don’t need God to heal their arm because of a skateboarding incident or to clear up their chicken pox, we have antibiotics for that. They need God to search deep into their souls and do a miraculous work inside of them. To give them the confidence that they were brought here to please God, the most perfect being ever. To give them peace, make them whole, so that they stop searching and start living. (Goodness, I sound like a pharmaceutical commercial.)

Now, what that looks like, I have no clue.

9.14.2008

Tina's mom update: day seven

I've been here just under a week. I have a couple of leads on serving jobs and then was thinking that perhaps I should apply to a nice department store. Heck, I like clothes, I'm a snazzy dresser and have good taste for other people, too. What's the worst than can happen?

The end of the week was difficult. Lots of overwhelmiong emotion for mom, and consequentially my father. It does not necessarily seem that my presence makes a difference, and I was praying about it on the way home from church, asking God to confirm that this is the right thing to do. I got home and my dad asked me to finish some payrolls for him. Bingo! It is now confirmed that this is my path and it is a godly one.

In other news, I saw some old friends on Friday - looking good David! - and met some new ones, too. Some guy named Tino. Hahahahahahahaha. It's the male version of me. And we're both pining away for someone we can't really have, at least not right now. Hahahaha. And some other dude named Calvin, who said that Pentacostals are his peeps man, his peeps. Then he pretended to slay me in the spirit. Hahahahahahaaaa.

Anyway, I love you all!

Bisous,
Tina

9.11.2008

Tina's Mom update: day four

Hi everyone.

Today is day four. I arrived on Monday evening after a brief stop at the Camarillo outlets. Two dresses and some undergarments later, I whizzed through LA to make it to Orange County in record time. Wheeeeeee!

Anyway, my transition's been a little tougher than anticipated. There's been some insensitivity on the part of everyone in this house. I think its difficult because I reduce the amount of space that my parents are used to - like both use my bathroom to shower - and that I am not used to having my parents in my space. But, as long as there are rules for my folks and sensitivity to their needs on my part, it will work out fine. The good news in all of this is that I get my own closet - with shelves for my shoes. Woo, woo!

Mom is OK. Since I have been here, there has been one good day, one so-so day, and one bad day. There was talk of postponement for her back surgery, but since the next date is a month away, she will probably go through with it next Tuesday, September 16th. Pray that this will alleviate her back pain so that she can focus on getting well and strong in other areas, too.

On the social front, many of my friends here have been super receptive to my arrival. Someone even called me two nites ago! We chatted and caught up. And, one of my favorite musicians is in town next week, so I'll be seeing that show, too.

There is some sad news, though: a friend from high school has an aggressive form of cancer. He's 26. I actually feel a little privileged, though. Maybe this is good timing. It's not that we were ever that close, but I am happy for the opportunity to hang out with someone who might need a little bit more help than he's used to. Maybe we'll even get to be very good friends. But, I'm jumping the gun here. We'll just wait and see.

I wish you all the best. Please keep me updated with you, too!

Love,
Tina

9.08.2008

Tina's Mom update: day one

Hi all!


Here is my first blog about my time away from Santa Barbara, even though I have not left yet.


I am deciding what to take with me. I feel naked with out my entire wardrobe, so if you can tell me how to fit a tall dresser into my car, it would be much appreciated. Hahahaha.


Actually, I enjoyed my morning, sleeping in, hanging out in my PJs, checking my email. I know that my mom had a bad day yesterday and my folks are chomping at the bit for my arrival. Even I am unaware of the time of my arrival. They can wait for a little.

I'll be stopping on the way down to apply for a job at some dinner theater place. The theater is actually a magic show and the place serves ribs. My kind of establishment, although I would not mind working at a sports bar or some other rowdy place where cute girls are appreciated.


I love you all! I will try to update this space several times a week. I will use it to communicate about what I am doing, how my mother's healing is going, or about my emotional state or some new idea that I am courting. I will send email updates with the link whenever I do updates.


Thanks for reading!

9.07.2008

Smitten: thank you for the days!

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that lights on you believe me.
And though you're gone,
You're with me every single day, believe me.

Days I'll remember all my life,
Days when you can't see wrong from right.
You took my life,
But then I knew that very soon you'd leave me,
But it's all right,
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me.

Dear Coffee Boi,

I have to thank you (and to be cliche, my Father in heaven). I was listening to The Kinks last week and this song came up. I changed the song because it depressed me - I could not bear to face that I would not be able to have something that I wanted. But, I know deep in my heart that now is not the time for either of us. There have been signs to confirm this, too - being too busy with work and school and family. Really, having to deal with our own lives.

And whether or not there will be a time in our respective futures when we will explore some sort of romantic possibility is irrelevant to what I want to say. I want to say thank you. You helped me to open up my heart to the possibility of falling in love again. Imagine, I have spent 20 some odd years on this planet and not really fallen in love, at least in the romantic sense. That's not to say that I fell in love with you, but I have been close once before this. That experience was much too intense and closed me off to others that have fallen into my path.
But you, my dear, have helped remedy this. Your flirtation, your quirkiness, your openness, and your sweetness melted the icy layer around my heart and broke the barrier down in my mind. All I had to do was put myself in your path. Like the Kinks sang, I'm not frightened of this world, believe me.
OK, don't go getting a big head about this. I just wanted to let you know the value that our short friendship had in my life. Best wishes to you, dear sir! May God continue to bless your journey (even though you don't really believe in Him) and bring people in your path. Maybe I'll get to be one of those people again.
Much love,
Tina