All Ears

In my last blog, I posed the question, who is not being heard? And you know, when you pose that question, "God, who do you want me to see and hear?" He will answer and answer more obviously and subtly than you can ever think.

I am not listening to those who are close to me. Recently I had an altercation with a coworker because I did not listen to him. On the surface, it looks like he was just being a jerk, but upon closer examination, I indirectly avoided his problem, which provoked him even more. And I did it without even realizing what I was doing.

Now, I have these two friends who want to be friends, but because they do not listen to each other, have a hard time. They do not listen and they do not see. They do not listen to the heart of the other - how can they, you have to read between the lines so deeply! - and therefore do not see and cannot sympathize with the other. And, in turn, I have not seen them individually. I tried to explain to one about herself and in the process completely alienated her and hurt her feelings. She was having a bad day and I did not remember. I did not listen.

I guess the heart of the matter is that we just don't know how to listen. We cannot forget ourselves for one stinkin' moment and focus on another person for once. True listening takes skill: removing yourself from what that person is saying and asking questions to truly get to the heart of the matter. This is why we pay professionals (therapists, pastors) to do it. How many times have I glossed over the problems of this young girl in my charge, blaming her youth? How many times have I said something to defend myself when I was not even being attacked? How many times I have I protected the comfort of my own heart at the expense of another?

I thank God because He allowed me to see the obviousness of His point in who needed an ear. I thank God because He has given me the sight to see this obviously and not react out of my own self. God, now I ask for grace to actually listen. Teach me to remove myself so that others can grow, and know that in that, I will grow, too!

Love,
Tina